Adolescence is full of transformations. You outgrow old hobbies, shift styles, discover new communities. But every new self comes with a quiet goodbye to the old one.

That’s not always easy. Sometimes you miss the version of yourself who was carefree, or sporty, or deeply connected to a group you no longer belong to. Sometimes you feel like you’ve betrayed your younger self—or that others won’t accept the change.

End Education reminds us that identity is not a single fixed point. It’s a cycle of endings and beginnings. And it’s okay to grieve the selves you’ve left behind, even while you celebrate the one you’re becoming.

At One Life Many Endings, we explore how loss is not always external—it often lives within us. Identity loss is rarely spoken about, yet it can be just as profound as the loss of a relationship or a place. When the way we see ourselves shifts, we are forced to let go of parts of our story.

Think of the child who was always “the athlete,” until an injury changed everything. Or the teenager who was once the class clown but now struggles with seriousness. Or the young person whose sense of style, music, or values evolve, leaving old versions of themselves behind. These transitions may be natural, but they can also feel like a kind of mourning.

The first step is recognition: it’s valid to grieve former versions of yourself. Missing who you used to be does not mean you are rejecting who you are now. It means you are honoring the complexity of growth.

The second step is choice. Some young people find it helpful to mark identity shifts with small rituals—creating a scrapbook of photos from a past phase, writing a farewell note to their “old self,” or even choosing a symbolic gesture, like planting a seed or lighting a candle, to represent transformation. These acts don’t erase the past, but they allow it to be acknowledged.

And then comes reframing. Instead of seeing identity changes as a loss alone, they can be seen as a layering process. Each version of you still exists inside, contributing to the person you are today. You don’t lose your past selves—you carry them forward.

Community is also essential. Growing and changing can feel isolating, especially if peers or family don’t understand. Finding spaces where identity shifts are welcomed—with friends, mentors, or supportive groups—can turn loneliness into connection.

But it’s equally important to give yourself permission to step back. Not every transformation needs to be explained or justified publicly. Some identities are meant to be lived quietly until you’re ready to share them. Grief here can be private, too.

Identity endings remind us that growth always involves letting go. Every new chapter requires leaving something behind, and that departure can be bittersweet.

At O.L.M.E., we believe that supporting young people through these quiet identity griefs is vital. Because when they learn to honor the versions of themselves that no longer exist, they also learn acceptance, resilience, and the courage to keep evolving.

You are not betraying your old self by changing. You are carrying them with you, honoring them, and building something new from their foundation. And that matters.